Fear and Being Known

I spent a long time hiding in plain sight as far as my online presence goes. I wanted to separate and compartmentalize my various personae. This was ultimately because I was afraid of being seen as the multitudinous person I am. When I began to allow the edges between my identity to blur and to become more honest with my interests my true persona began to emerge. I began posting on twitter with more intensity about all the things that interested me without feeling the need to separate these interests into programming, magic, sex, as silos.

The results were shocking to me- rather than producing a muddled mess of competing ideas– a larger more compelling truth began to emerge as what once seemed to be completely unrelated interests began to merge into a concise and clear whole. It really was when I began tweeting with honesty that I began to understand my true self as I could see more fully my idealogy play out in public.

And when I finally saw this person I was becoming I loved him

It was like all my wild, winding paths were starting to make sense and I was synthesizing these varied lives I had lived. But it was the courage of allowing these many identities to live together and interact that allowed them to become one.

I never would have expected my online life to explode into a full social experience because I had hid from being seen so much but when I started tweeting, and being seen I was surprised to find a huge community that was ready to embrace me and bring me to the next level in my life.

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#personal